The Cock & La Poule
by PolkaDotMama
Summary: Fate brings them together, trust brings them closer, and the cock and la poule keep them talking. Jasper shares gifts with Edward that he never knew he needed.


_**Devirginizing Edward One-Shot Contest**_  
**Story Name: **The Cock & La Poule  
**Pen name: **PolkaDotMama  
**Pairing: **Edward & Jasper  
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing related to Twilight besides the books sitting on my shelf.  
**To see other entries in the "Devirginizing Edward" contest, please visit the C2**: http:/www. fanfiction .net/community/Devirginizing_Edward/76805/

Thanks to my dear beta mcsc2008. I love how we play.

* * *

Pulling into the driveway, I saw a sturdy box sitting at the front door waiting for me. After parking the car in the garage, I walked to the front of the house and picked up the white, priority mail box and read the return address label. It was from whom I had expected. As I returned to the garage, I shut the door behind me, closing off what little light remained at dusk, and entered the house.

Kicking off my shoes, I headed for the kitchen where I set the box on the granite countertop and found the box cutter. I looked at it, holding the blade in my right hand with the point angled so that it would easily slice through the transparent packing tape. Yet, I was unable to open it, suspecting exactly what I would find inside. I didn't think I was quite ready to open it.

So it sat.

Ignored.

But the memories couldn't be suppressed for long.

~*E*~

_I should just go. Did the color really matter? It would play my music whether it was blue or silver, right?_

Yet I stood there, inching ahead quarter step after quarter step, waiting to get to the customer service representative who would help me exchange the blue iPod I received for Christmas for a silver one. With the gift receipt wrapped around the Lucite box, I stood there slowly losing patience with the process of waiting, the woman a few bodies back who insisted on talking _loudly_ on her cell phone, and the increasing heat.

I finally slipped my coat off my shoulders and folded it over my left forearm, happy to feel some of my body heat escape and a cool breeze hit the damp skin on my neck. As I shifted my weight to my left heel trying to find a comfortable stance, I heard the quick intake of breath behind me. Just then, the line began moving again, and I took my few tentative steps forward only to be jarred from behind. The hard planes of a man were pressed against me and his deep baritone rushed past my ear.

"Sorry, man."

I turned to face the man and was completely pulled in by his dark blue eyes. "Uhm…," I managed, but just barely, as I looked down to his full pink lips and back to his bright gaze. "No problem," I got out just as his perfectly full lips spread into a smile revealing straight, white teeth.

"You'd think they could come up with a better system for all these exchanges. It's not like it is a surprise. This happens the day after Christmas every single year, and yet, it never seems to improve from year to year."

"So true," I said looking down to his long fingers to see him holding a silver iPod. "What do you have there?"

"Oh," he said as he looked down, shaking the full, golden curls on his head. "It's stupid really. I wanted the blue iPod not the silver one, so I'm simply exchanging it for a different color."

I couldn't contain the hearty laugh that I let go, and my laughter only increased when I saw his brows knit together. He obviously thought I was laughing _at_ him, not at the uncanny nature of the situation.

Shaking my head and trying to catch my breath, I held up my blue iPod before I nodded and pointed to myself with my left hand.

"Are you kidding?" he asked as he started to laugh.

"Shall we go across the street, get coffee, and discuss the details of our exchange?"

"Let's go and leave this wretched line behind."

As we left the electronics superstore, we both continued to laugh while we made sure we were exchanging iPod's with the same gigabytes. He opened the door for me at the coffeehouse, and after we had gotten our drinks, we sat down next to the fireplace in soft, leather chairs.

"I'm Edward, by the way," I said, moving to the edge of the chair and reaching for his hand. His long fingers wrapped around my palm in a firm handshake, and I smiled at the feel of his rough skin on mine. Although I was bisexual, most of my partners had been female or men who were more Lana Turner than Clarke Gable. The feel of his hand told me that he was all Gable.

"Jasper Whitlock. So, tell me a bit about yourself, Edward. I'd like to know something about the man I'm exchanging electronics with before we make the trade official." His eyes lit up as he spoke, and the sexiest dimples appeared when he flashed his easy smile.

"Well, let's see. I'm a professional musician. I play cello with the Seattle Philharmonic Orchestra, and I teach private lessons as well. How about you?"

"I work at the Seattle Art Museum as an archivist."

"I see we're both in the world of the arts," I said and found myself leaning toward him as I spoke.

"I'm surprised that a musician would be satisfied with a sixteen gig iPod."

"This isn't my only iPod, and you do realize that it's a mistake to bring up music to a musician right?" I joked before we talked through two cups of coffee each, discussing music, art, and where we were raised.

Several hours later Jasper stood and stretched, revealing a sliver of tanned skin above his waistband. My eyes darted from hip to hip, following the fabric of the avocado green underwear that peeked over the top of his indigo jeans, revealing the line of fine hair that disappeared under the fabric.

"Well Edward, I've had a great morning with you, but I have to go meet my sister for lunch. Here," he said as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, producing a crisp, white business card. Walking to the front counter, he borrowed a pen, wrote on the card and returned to me. In the mean time, I retrieved my own business card which had my cell number printed on it. "My cell is on the back," he said with a wink as he finally handed me his card.

It was with the wink that I knew my next words would be accepted as I intended them.

"How about dinner? Tomorrow, let's say seven?" Running my fingers through my hair, I awaited his response as he pulled his phone from his pocket and clicked it a few times.

"Sure. But, would you mind if it was tonight? I have to get my sister on a plane tomorrow, and I'm not sure I'd be able to get back in time." I nodded and handed him my business card. "How about I pick you up?"

After giving my address and simple directions on how to get there, we walked back across the street and found that we had parked our cars next to each other.

"I'll give you a call once I leave the airport." He smiled over the hood of his car and then tucked his long legs under the steering wheel. I watched as he drove away, wondering what had just happened. Climbing in my car, I set my new silver iPod on the passenger seat and headed home.

I was lucky to get reservations at the tapas bar where I wanted to go, and when Jasper showed up at my door wearing a tight blue sweater, I nearly swore out loud but was able to stifle it. As we reached his car in the driveway, he walked to the passenger side and opened the door for me. _Definitely a date._

At the restaurant, conversation came easily as if we had been friends for years, but the sexual tension was bumped up a few notches each time our server interrupted us in the midst of our flirting. After the fourth time she checked in to see if we needed a refill on beverages, Jasper looked at her and smiled before saying, "Actually, what we'd really like is a few uninterrupted moments to get to know each other better so we can decide if we're going to end up in bed together tonight or if we'll be sleeping alone."

Our server sputtered and quickly pulled our check from her apron and set it on the table. I handed her my credit card and Jasper gave me a useless glare. "You gentlemen have a good time tonight. For the record," she lowered her voice to a near scandalous whisper, "I think ending up in bed _together _sounds like the best option to me." She winked and turned on her heel.

Jasper reached across the table to me and gently pushed up on my chin, effectively closing my mouth, which I hadn't realized was hanging open. Just then, he traced my cheekbone with his thumb and leaned over the table, resting his upper body weight on an elbow. "Do you know how beautiful that rose-colored blush is against your alabaster skin? I think I want to see how far that hue spreads."

Flames were heating my cheeks and my ears, and I felt the fire slowly licking its way down my chest as he continued to look into my verdant eyes. I reached for the top button of my shirt and slowly unbuttoned it with both hands as he sat back in his chair and watched me, fingers stroking his bottom lip. Taking a long sip of my ice water, I couldn't help but look over the rim of the glass as I swallowed hard, trying to regain my voice and my focus. I had little luck as he smirked at me.

Everything about him seemed to call to me, from his sun-kissed skin to the way he'd rub the back of his neck with is long fingers as he spoke. His movements were graceful and manly, and I ached to have his hands on my skin once again.

Finally working up my nerve, I set my glass down and reached for his hand, which fingered the silver dessert fork. "What do you think? Together? Alone?" I traced the pad of my index finger across his knuckles and refused to drop my gaze.

"Are you ready for this, Edward? You don't really seem like the type to meet someone in the morning and end up in his bed that night. Somehow, I suspect you've never done that; am I right?" He cocked his head and placed his free hand over mine, effectively stopping the teasing that engaged my fingers.

"If you're asking me if I've ever gone home with a man the same day I met him, the answer is no. But if you are asking if I've ever gone home with _someone_ the same day, the answer is yes." He quirked his brow at me, and a confused smile crept across his perfect mouth. "I'm bisexual, Jasper, so I've gone home with a woman just after meeting her, but it has never moved that quickly with a guy before."

Just then, the server returned with my receipt, and I signed before slipping on my jacket. "Shall we go to your place?" I asked as I stood.

"We shall."

In the parking lot, Jasper opened the door for me once again although this time his body was much closer to me as I slid into the buttery leather seat. As he drove, he passed his new iPod to me and asked me to find something to listen to, so I chose some classical guitar and sat back to enjoy the ride.

"Tell me, Edward. Why is it that you're coming home with me tonight if you've never done so with other men?"

"I've only been with a few guys, and they happened to be friends of mine before anything sexual happened; so I never really had the opportunity. Oh, and because you are fucking gorgeous. I can't forget that."

His face lit up as he laughed, and when his eyes caught mine, I realized the enormity of the situation that I was about to face.

"So, you are more attracted to women?"

"I tend to date women more often, but I wouldn't say I'm more attracted to women. I'm attracted to people, plain and simple."

"Well, I'm one hundred percent gay. I've never been attracted to women, and I never had any of those awkward experimental moments with women that a lot of my gay friends had. I knew I was gay from a very early age. I think I may have been ten. I came out to my mom when I was fourteen, and I've had a few seriously relationships. They all fell apart on their own. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it was all the time my education took or their attraction to other men, but eventually, we grew apart and leaving ended up being a good thing." He paused for a moment. "Wow, how the hell did all of that come out? Did you slip truth serum in my drink back at the restaurant or something?" he chuckled.

I joined his laughter and placed my palm on top of his hand resting on the gearshift. "I promise you I didn't put anything in your drink. I just happen to be one of those guys that is privy to a lot of secrets. I don't know why, but it happens all the time."

"I see," he said raising a brow, "do you keep these secrets to yourself, or should I be worried? I don't usually talk about that sort of thing right after I meet someone I'm interested in." I moved my thumb and forefinger across my lips, metaphorically zipping them and throwing away the key. Turning the corner, he pulled his hand from under mine so he could use the steering wheel. "We're almost at my place. You sure about this? I can still take you home."

"I'm sure about this, Jasper." _I think I'm sure about this._

He pulled into the garage, but I couldn't make out many details of the exterior of his home because of how dark it was. In the garage, there were several gardening tools hanging on the wall and a potting table pushed up against the wall that had terra cotta pots piled on the lower shelf. Taking a deep breath, I could smell soil as I got out of his car. As I walked around to his side, I noticed the floor was immaculate. You could eat off his garage floor; it was seriously that clean.

"Come on." He grabbed my hand and led me through a door that opened into a spacious mudroom where he sat down on a teak bench to remove his shoes. Sitting down next to him, I slipped my shoes off as well and followed his lead when he tucked them under the bench. He took my jacket and hung it next to his in a spacious closet. "Wine?" he asked as he walked toward his beautiful kitchen decked out in warm yellows and rich blues. I nodded, and he pulled two wine glasses down and expertly opened a bottle of wine.

I usually wasn't so quiet, but I wanted to take my time looking around his kitchen because it was telling me so much about him. He enjoyed cooking and appreciated using high quality tools. There were photos of two small girls on his fridge and another of a woman who looked remarkably like Jasper. I assumed it was his sister. The art on the wall was original and professionally framed, and I noticed he had a quirky sense of humor by the odd assortment of pieces displayed behind a glass front cabinet. Walking over, I chuckled when I saw a large saltshaker shaped like a rooster.

"You checking out my cock?"

I laughed while he tried to keep a straight face. "Yes, I guess I am. Where is the pepper … hen?"

"Oh, you mean the pepper poule."

"I do? Okay. So, where's the pepper poule?"

"She's over here by the cooktop. They had to be separated."

I chuckled at him in disbelief for a moment before I allowed myself to just let go and outright laugh at the ridiculousness of his statement.

"So, you ready for that ride home now, or do you think you still want to stick around after that horrible display of humor?"

"I think I'd like to stay, Jasper, if only to get to know the story behind your cock and hen. I mean poule."

"That's a story for maybe our seventh or eighth date, not tonight. Now, come on. Let's go sit down."

Sitting down on the soft fabric of his couch, I settled in and was about to take a sip of wine when he lifted his glass to mine. "To fate." The sound of the crystal colliding rang through the room, and I repeated his toast before taking a tentative sip of the red wine and setting my glass down on the coffee table.

"Do you bring many guys home the same day you meet them, Jasper?" He knew about me. I figured I should know something about him as well.

"Never. In fact, I think my sister will kill me if she ever hears about this." He placed his wine glass next to mine and turned his body so that one bent leg rested on the couch cushion while the other foot stayed firmly planted on the soft carpeting. "Then again," he said as he reached for me, threading his fingers through my hair, "once she meets you, I think she'll get over that."

_Once she meets me?_

As he leaned forward, he pulled me toward his barely parted lips. When his tongue peeked out and traveled across his lower lip, my mouth responded in kind. "Are you ready for this, Edward?" he asked as he trailed the tip of his nose across my cheek. All I could do was nod and close my eyes, waiting for the moment our lips would touch.

His lips whispered across mine, setting my sensitive skin on fire and causing my blush to reappear once again. Pulling back, he looked at my cheeks as his fingers gripped my hair tighter. "Ah, there it is. Beautiful." Finally, he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, leaving the teasing behind as he opened his mouth, allowing me to taste him. The silk of his tongue washed across mine, and I couldn't hold back the groan that came forth. He tasted so good, like wine and Jasper.

Our tongues teased and tested as we found out what we desired and how we fit together. It felt as if our mouths were made for each other, and I could no longer keep my hands to myself. Reaching for his chest, I explored the planes and lines that his muscles followed under his tight, blue sweater, and I smiled against his lips when I felt his nipples tighten under the pads of my thumbs.

Just then, he pushed me onto my back. When I looked into his eyes, they had turned the darkest shade of sapphire I had ever seen, nearly black with lust. Attacking my mouth, he wasn't gentle, and I relished the feel of his teeth biting my bottom lip before he kissed down to my neck. When I turned my head to the side, he instinctually answered my silent plea by kissing the responsive muscle. As his teeth sunk into my skin, I took in a sharp breath and my hips thrust up into him.

"You like that, Edward?"

Low and raspy, my voice betrayed how aroused I was. "Fuck yes."

"Good," he answered as he moved to the hollow of my neck and started to unbutton my shirt with one hand. "Now I want to see how far down this color goes." Sitting up, he straddled my hips and watched as he slid each button through its thread wrapped hole, licking his lips and blinking lazily.

I took the moment to study his face, to notice the faint dappling of freckles across his cheeks and the way that his wheaten curls fell over his forehead. He was beautiful, and I had never physically responded to a man quite the way that I was responding to Jasper. It was as if he was awakening desires in me to go further than I had before.

As he pushed my shirt over my shoulders, I leaned forward so he could remove it, but rather than taking it off completely, he drew the sleeves down my arms, effectively trapping them against my sides. I lay back down and felt my blush continue to creep across my body.

"Mmm. Look at that beautiful chest all lit up from your internal heat." Sliding down the couch and settling his legs between mine, his mouth peppered kisses across my reddened skin. When his tongue circled a nipple, I felt my skin tighten under his satiny caress, and I arched my back just to get more contact. "You like a little nipple play, huh?" I hummed my pleasure and looked down at him as he licked, sucked, and nipped at me, trailing his tongue across my chest, and watched the other tiny pink nub rise with the release of his breath across it.

The slow tease that he was giving my body was decadent, and I felt wetness seep from the tip of my cock as he continued to lave attention across my chest and down my stomach. His tongue danced across my navel and my abdominal muscles contracted at the sensation. He could tell I was ticklish, but rather than use that to his advantage as so many men and women had done, he bypassed my overly sensitive flesh and moved to unbutton my fly and slip my jeans and underwear past my hips.

My cock bobbed above my stomach once it was freed, and I ached to be touched, but even his gaze bypassed my dick as he slipped my pants off my legs and reverently removed my socks. Sitting at the end of the couch, he pulled my right foot into his lap and looked into my eyes as he began massaging my foot.

"Is it okay that your arms are immobile, or do you want me to free them?" he asked, paying no mind that he had me completely naked and ready for him. What he wanted to know was if I was comfortable with where he was leading me, and although I should have felt vulnerable, I felt nothing of the sort.

"Jasper, I'm doing just fine. I'll tell you if I need to be let go, okay?"

"Sure thing, sugar. Do you mind if I kiss your feet?" I shook my head, and he smiled as he kissed my arch. Moving to the inside of my ankle, he left tender kisses on the sensitive skin and moved up my leg, pressing his lips against my skin every so often. Once he reached my inner thigh, my cock was twitching, trying to get his attention so that he would touch it, but he continued to ignore the straining muscle.

In contrast to his gentle kisses, his hands became more anxious as his long fingers wrapped around my legs, moving closer to my thighs. Behind my knees, his movements slowed, and he took the time to caress me there, all the while licking my inner thigh.

Suddenly, my knees were pressed into my chest and my thighs spread apart. Not having much control of my arms, I used them for the only thing I could, balance, so I wouldn't topple to the floor. Again, he looked up at me and took a breath to speak, but I stopped him with a smile and a nod, reassuring him that I was okay with what he was doing.

As he spread my thighs apart and tasted the thin skin next to my balls, I heard him take in a deep breath. He was fucking smelling my balls. I groaned at my realization when he took my balls into his mouth, lavishing them with tender attention with his velvety tongue; my groans transformed into moans and then near pathetic whimpers as he continued. It felt so good to have his mouth surrounding me, and when he released my legs and allowed them to fall over his shoulders, I could not longer hold back the "fuck" that escaped at the sight of him nestled deep between my legs. He looked perfect there. He _felt_ perfect there with his arms wrapped under my ass, fingers resting on my hipbones and he finally, _finally_ trailed his tongue up my pulsing cock.

The heat of his tongue sliding along the length of my cock made my body relax into the couch. Up and down he licked, and when he reached the top of my cock he slipped his tongue into my cowl and traced around the tender flesh before he pulled back my foreskin to reveal the pink head of my dick. When the tip of his tongue started to tease the gathering of skin at my sensitive frenulum, my hips bucked, and he opened just in time to take the head into his wet mouth.

His mouth felt amazing, and as much as I wanted to watch him engulf my entire length, I closed my eyes and pushed my head into the cushion so I could concentrate on what he was doing to my pulsing flesh. He was skilled and knew exactly what I wanted from him: licking, sucking, taking me deep, and swallowing around me. As he moved down to take both balls into his mouth again, my fingers curled around the plush fabric beneath them. I knew I was nearing my climax as my legs spasmodically twitched every so often and my toes curled.

My breaths were leaving my body in an unsteady pace, my abdominal muscles tightening and releasing as my vocalizations came more freely. "Fuck. Suck it. Taste my cock," I said and was surprised that I said aloud what I had been thinking.

Releasing my tightening balls from his mouth, Jasper kissed his way up my dick and teased my foreskin once more before taking me deep down his throat and bobbing up and down at a quicker pace. Finally, I was ready to look down at him, and what I saw nearly sent me over the edge. He seemed to sense how near I was and slowed his movements.

Pulling his mouth off of me, he sat up on his knees for a moment then I saw that his cock was already out of his pants and he was stroking himself. He was beautiful to watch, and I ached to have my hand on my own cock so that I could join him. It was evident that he was getting closer, but rather than continuing to bring himself pleasure, he started to suck me off again. The hand he had on himself slowed as he took me to the edge and allowed me to sit there for a few moments.

Jasper's eyes met mine, blue peering through thick, dark lashes as he drew the orgasm from me. I tired to maintain eye contact, but I was unable. My eyes slammed shut as the first wave hit me, and my hips thrust forward. As my body shuddered and released its last drops of nectar into his mouth, he smiled around my cock and then sat up, pressing his knees into the muscles of my ass.

"Fuck, Edward. You are so beautiful when you cum," he said in a deep voice as his hand flew over his cock. "I could watch that over and over again, and I don't think I'd get sick of it." His fingers started to concentrate their energy at the head of his dick, closing over the tip as he reached the end.

I wanted so badly to use my hands at this point to pinch his nipples or tug on his balls for him … anything to bring him more satisfaction, but I lay there helpless, only able to watch. So I did the only thing I felt I could do. I spoke in a raspy, after-sex voice. "Jasper, look at me," I demanded. "I want you to fucking cum all over me. I want to feel you shoot across my chest. Stroke yourself how I should. That's right. Show me what you like."

Jasper threw his head back, no longer in control of many of his body's reactions. Muscles on his torso contracted as his impending climax took over, and he started to quiver above me, grasping onto my knee to help him maintain balance. The long fingers on his hand became covered in milky white as he shot again and again, finally letting go of his cock and allowing his cum to trail across my chest.

"That was amazing," Jasper said as he leaned over me and caressed my mouth with slow, tender kisses for several minutes. "Don't move. I'll be right back." When he returned, he washed my stomach off with a warm, wet washcloth and then helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt back over my shoulders.

"What I'm about to do, I _never_ do," Jasper's face was full of regret. "But my sister could walk through that door any minute. She's been visiting a friend and said she'd be home around midnight. I don't think she'd be too kind if she found me on the couch with a nearly naked man. As much as I'd like to lay here with you, I think we had better get dressed, okay?" He looked at me with apprehension, but I smiled and reached for my underwear and pants.

"You sure this isn't just a ploy to get me out of here quickly?"

"Believe me, Edward. The last thing I want to do is get you out of my house. What I _want_ to do is get you in my bed, but that will have to be another day. My sister came here for Christmas so she wouldn't be too lonely. Her girls are with her ex this holiday, and she didn't want to be alone. She's visiting a college friend tonight, but she has been known to change her plans or end an evening early if she's bored. Who knows what the night will bring? I just don't want it to bring Rosalie's wrath on you … or me, for that matter."

"I should probably be getting home soon anyway. I have students coming in the morning," I said as I dressed.

He zipped and buttoned his pants before he lifted his glass of wine to his lips. "At least stay long enough to finish your wine? I'm driving, so I'll only have a few sips, but you drink up."

"Okay, Jasper," I said and then took a sip as I settled back down on the couch. "I would really like to go out on another date with you."

"I was just about to say the same thing. So, yes, I'd love to."

Jasper drove me home that night right before midnight without Rose and I ever meeting.

Over the next several weeks, Jasper and I went on several dates, getting to know more about each other, but not returning to either of our homes for sex. Whenever I'd arrive in Jasper's kitchen, I'd look for his cock and poule salt and pepper shakers and would seem to find them in a different spot nearly each visit. When I would ask him to explain, he'd put me off and tell me he'd tell me when the time was right. I was curious but could tell it was something he wasn't ready to share yet. I didn't know why, but he was holding back.

As much as I enjoyed our time on his couch that first date, I was glad that we were trying to go deeper and weren't letting sex dominate our relationship. That's not to say that we didn't spend time touching and kissing each other every chance we got, but it didn't go further even though we were both yearning for that contact again. We spoke on the phone, emailed, and sent text messages throughout our days, and he quickly became very important to me.

While I couldn't express it in words to my friends, there was an innate _something_ that drew me to Jasper. Once my close friends met him, they immediately got why I was so taken with him. His openness and honesty was refreshing, and I could sense his emotions before he spoke of them. It was as if his toast that first day had been true. Fate. We just belonged together.

Finally, we ended up back at his house _and_ in bed one night. It seemed we were both ready. There were a few things I hadn't told him about my sex life yet, and I had decided to come clean that night. I had planned on telling him after dinner when we arrived back at his place, but the passion that overtook us was simply too powerful. In his bedroom, we lay naked under the covers, hot and sweaty from all the kissing and thrusting we had been doing against each other, when I stilled our bodies and asked him if we could talk.

"What's wrong, Edward? You look worried about something." He slid his body off mine and rested on his side, his head cradled in his open palm. His long fingers trailed across my jaw and cheekbone as he studied my face. "Talk to me, Sugar."

I couldn't keep from smiling when he used his nickname for me. He had called me "Sugar" in passing on our first night together, but I thought nothing of it then. When it continued, I found myself liking the name and smiling whenever he used it.

"I actually wanted to talk about sex."

"Okay. What about, in particular?"

"Well," I labored to swallow the lump in my throat, "I've only … only …" I looked around shyly, trying to force myself to look him in the eye but simply couldn't.

His fingers stopped their caresses, and he placed his heated palm against my cheek. "Edward. Don't be afraid to ever tell me things." I was finally able to meet his serious gaze. "I'm not going to think any less of you or kick you out of my bed." I hesitated to continue, not sure how to start when he said, "Maybe it would help if I told you something that I've wanted to share for awhile."

I nodded and waited as he took a deep breath and rolled over onto his back, looked up at the ceiling, and laced his long fingers behind his head. I turned onto my side and rested my palm over his heart, feeling it beat quicker.

"I've mentioned that my parents died in house fire, right?" I nodded, feeling saddened by the thought. My thumb stroked across his chest as he continued to speak in a quiet voice. "There was little that could be salvaged from the fire, and you can imagine how that was for me as an archivist. My job is to save and preserve history and memories, so it was really hard to have nothing left of them. Rosalie and I were able to save a few things. The cock and the poule were two of those things. We also managed to save a few Hummel figurines and two pieces of silver. That's it. That's all we have of our parents. We divided everything up, but Rose and I just couldn't separate the cock and the poule."

"I'm so sorry to hear that you lost not only the two most important people in the world but also nearly everything that could have made you feel closer to them. That must have been horrible for you." I waited, but he remained silent, so I prompted, "Are you about to tell me the full story of the cock and the poule, Jasper?"

"Yes. Do you think you still want to know?" I nodded and leaned into his body, placing an open mouthed kiss right above his nipple. "My father got those when he was stationed overseas in the Air Force. He and my mom had been married only a few months when he was sent on temporary duty year in Europe, and he brought those salt and pepper shakers home to her from France. She had a thing for roosters for some reason." He paused and looked at me, and I gave him a reassuring smile.

"When we were little kids, my parents ran a very strict house, but there was never any yelling. My father prided himself on staying in control, but they had disagreements like any couple. One day, my mother took the poule that always sat next to the cock on the kitchen table and set it on the decorative table by the front door. When my father came home he saw that it was out of place and brought it to her to ask why." I looked at him with questioning on my face, but he quickly answered, "Remember, he ran a very strict household, so that meant everything was in its place."

"My mother shooed Rose and me outside and made my father sit at the kitchen table and talk. Apparently, my father had done something to upset my mother, and this was her way of getting his attention so they could work it out. So, that became the pattern. Whenever the cock and the poule were separated, they needed to talk. One may have had a rough day or been frustrated at the other, but it was their sign that communication was necessary. It got to the point that, when Rose and I saw a lone chicken on the kitchen table, we made ourselves scarce so they could work it out."

"Anyway, the cock and the poule survived the fire, and as you can see, Rose and I just had to keep them as a set. They belong together. Now, we send them back and forth. We each get them for six months or so. It may be crazy, but it reminds us of our parents. Every so often I separate them. It might be because I've had a bad day or because I want to think of Mom and Dad. But that's it."

His flippant joke on our first date had been so much more than that, but I didn't understand how much until that very moment. Unable to resist kissing him, I pressed my lips into his for a slow moment. "I get it now; definitely not a first date story. Thank you for sharing that with me, Jasper."

"It's not something I tell many people, but those that I do tell are … trusted."

A full smile spread across my face as I heard his words and realized that his trust in me could spur my own trust in him forward.

"Come on, Edward. Just tell me. I don't want you to ever fear talking to me about anything. That's one lesson I learned from my parents."

What I had to say seemed a bit foolish after what he had just shared, but it was something that had a lot of significance for us. Taking a deep breath, I admitted, "I've never bottomed, nor have I ever wanted to until I met you. You have awoken things in me that I didn't even realize were there. At home when I try to fall asleep at night, I think of you and everything I want you to do to me. It excites me, turns me on, and scares the living fuck out of me. No one was ever worthy before. But now that I found you, I think I'm ready." I trailed my open hand down his stomach and nosed across his cheek before leaning in to whisper in his ear, "Jasper, I want you to take me. I want to give myself to _you_." He was silent, and suddenly I was fearful. I pulled back and asked, "Was that too much?"

Pressing his mouth to mine, I opened and greeted his tongue with my own. His kisses were full of passion and I felt his fingers curl into my chaotic hair. When he leaned back, I saw unshed tears in his eyes. "No, Edward. That wasn't too much. That was fucking perfect. I'd be honored if you'd allow me to make love to you."

My eyes opened wide and Jasper leaned forward, brushing his nose against mine. "Yes. You heard me right, Edward. I love you."

"I love you, too, Jasper. So much!"

With my declaration, he moved to straddle me, kissing my mouth, jaw, and ear. He knew how to bring me such pleasure just by tasting and biting my neck, and he easily had me panting and begging for him to bite me harder. My fingertips dug into the skin of his back as his mouth continued to ravish me. Trailing down my chest, he tasted my nipples, kissed my abdominal muscles, and traced a line from one hipbone to the other with his nose.

It was always the nose with us. It had started that first night and continued each and every time we drew close. Kissing. Smelling. Feeling his tender skin under the tip of my nose had easily become a sexual touch I had come to love.

I was quickly brought out of my thoughts when Jasper's tongue slipped between my foreskin and the head of my cock, circling my sensitive flesh. "Fuck" burst forth and he laughed at my enthusiasm. "Think it's funny, huh?"

He didn't answer but looked up as he buried my cock deep in his throat. My hands flew to the headboard, and I held onto the slats so hard I'm sure my knuckles turned white. I didn't check. I was too busy watching his perfect lips slide up and down my cock.

Jasper moved off of me and sat on his knees near my feet. I thought I knew what he was going to do but was surprised when he grabbed me by the hips and dragged my body down the bed toward him. When he rolled me onto my shoulders, I desperately grasped onto the sheets near the edge of the bed to help support my body. He wrapped an arm around my hips as he brought his face near my ass. He could see every part of me.

_Oh my God. What the hell is he going to do?_

My mind was shouting at me, and I was not only terrified but excited. As he looked down at me hungrily and licked his lips, I felt exposed and so self-conscious. I felt the bloom of color covering my face and upper torso.

"I can still make you blush, I see," he beamed. "I hope that never goes away."

He spoke like we were going to be together for a long time, and I loved that. I watched as he looked over my body, his gaze lingering on my cock for a moment before moving to the textured skin of my balls. His longing was evident as his eyes moved closer to his body and paused at the puckered skin of my ass.

_Look in his eyes. He obviously wants to do this so just relax, Edward._

With a quick glance down at me and a broad smile, he lowered his face to the most secretive place on my body. I closed my lids tightly, not knowing what to expect, and my entire body tensed in anticipation.

What I felt was the warmth of his satiny tongue tracing over my forbidden flesh, and I cried out in pleasure as my eyes met his. "Fucking hell, Jasper. That's phenomenal!"

The corner of his eyes squinted together as he smiled around my … _oh my god, he was really licking my asshole?_ A slow sigh escaped from my throat, and I felt him trace around me with the tip of his tongue. Then he flattened his tongue and took long, languid licks across my flesh up to my balls. My eyes rolled back, and my pleasure was freely vocalized in curses and moans. Everything he did to me was mind blowing, and just when I thought I had felt all the ministrations that he had to offer, he plunged his tongue into me.

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked, not believing the pleasure he was giving me. How had I not heard about how amazing this could feel? No one I knew had talked about rimming like they did about blow jobs, yet I would take him doing _this_ to me over sucking my cock any day. My tight muscle opened up for him, relaxing around his tongue, and with each thrust, my breathing became more erratic. Nothing … nothing sexual had ever prepared me for that.

Lowering my back to the mattress, Jasper opened the bedside table drawer and reached for a condom and lube. Slicking up his fingers and warming the liquid in the process, he made eye contact with me, trying to read how I was feeling.

"I'm ready for this, Sparks." I said his rarely used nickname, the one that let him know that he lit me up from within, to reassure him that this was something I was not only prepared for but also craved from him.

I felt the pad of one of his fingers slowly massaging around my newly discovered erogenous zone, relaxing me further than his tongue had; though without his mouth, I wasn't sure how this would have gone. While I initially felt apprehension, soon, I was begging him to push further into me. "Fuck me with your fingers, Jasper, please."

As his fingertip first slipped past the muscular ring of my ass, I was surprised at the sensation. It was oddly familiar yet totally foreign. Pleasure spread through my groin and within moments I was thrusting my hips so that he would fuck me fast with his finger. When he slipped in a second, I felt a burning sensation that quickly gave way to pleasure.

It was his eyes that I focused my gaze on, azure pools that seemed to go on forever, as he easily brought me pleasure that I had no idea a man could even experience. As his fingers slid in and out of me, he said quiet, gentle words of encouragement, allowing me to mentally let go of anything that I continued to suppress. When his fingertips curled, my breath stuttered. He must have brushed against my prostate. Would he _ever_ stop bringing me new sexual experiences? It didn't seem like it.

"You feel ready for me, Sugar. Are you?" he asked. Always … always, he wanted to make sure I was comfortable and having an enjoyable time. There hadn't been one moment with Jasper that I had been unhappy.

"I'm ready, Sparks. I'm ready for _you_." I wanted him to know that I would only do this for him–that he was unique … privileged. If I was ever with other men, I wasn't sure I would do this, give myself as freely as I was giving myself to Jasper. Only he was worth it.

I watched as he rolled the condom over his cock and squeezed the bottle of lube over the sheath. A tightness in by belly emerged from seemingly nowhere, but he looked into my eyes and gave me his relaxed, natural smile, and I knew I had nothing to fear. Everything about his body language said, "I'll take care of you," and I knew I could trust in that.

Despite my trust, I jumped when I felt the head of his penis at my tight opening. "Shhhh," he tried to reassure me, "I'm going to go slow, and you _will_ like this. I promise."

I looked up at him and nodded as my hands slid up and down my thighs more as a way to relax myself than anything else. Closing my eyes seemed to calm my nerves because I could concentrate better on what was happening to my body and also on relaxing the muscles I wanted to open for him.

Jasper pressed forward and I felt the head of his cock sliding up and down my ass, trying to gain access. I did everything in my power to relax, and soon, I felt a slow burn as my body slowly conceded to the intrusion. He must have been watching my face because he pulled out slightly before he tried to enter me again. Again, the burning, but this time I found what I needed to do with my body to invite him in and he slipped the head of his cock past the tight band of muscle.

I opened my eyes as my fingers moved from soothing myself to trying to encourage Jasper to begin moving inside of me by wrapping my hands behind his knees. He eagerly, yet gingerly, answered my request, and slowly but surely, I felt him filling me: deeper, fuller–filling places within me that I hadn't known were empty. Yet there he was, making me feel whole and loved.

Wrapping my legs behind his lower back, I started to draw his body further and deeper into me, silently asking him to fuck me harder. My fingers now curled around the flesh of his thighs, begging for more. This was nothing like I thought it would be, and I was suddenly filled with gratitude that Jasper had been given a silver iPod rather than a blue one. I laughed out loud at my thought.

"You better not be laughing at me," he chided as his hips thrust forcefully into my body, his cock teasing my prostate with every pass. I shook my head and smiled as I tried to keep my composure, which was quickly slipping.

"I'm just so fucking grateful for silver and blue iPods right now." We laughed together for only a few moments before our bodies demanded our full attention once again.

My breathing was now strained as was Jasper's, and he was covered in a sheen of sweat as he labored over my body to bring me pleasure. The experience was altogether new to me, surprising me that such sensations could be as mind-blowing as they were.

Just when I thought I had felt it all, he reached for my cock and started to stroke me. A confusion of signals shot to my brain, and I could no longer keep them separate. Rather than trying to decipher, I let go, simply enjoying the physical intensity of the situation. As he thrust into my body, I slowly felt the familiar coil tightening in my belly.

"Ahhh. Fuck. Jasper, cumming … cumming … cumming." My body tensed beneath him and my ass spasmed around his pumping cock. I could barely catch my breath. "Jasper," I cried out. As white jets of thick cream erupted from my dick, my ass clenched around Jasper, and I saw him cum above me at the same moment. Long after I was done, I felt his cock still pulsing inside of me.

As I continued to relish the feel of him buried deep inside of me, he kissed me, slow and gentle. His kisses were like a tonic that could heal wounds, but I had none. Everything he had allowed me to experience had been a gift, and I attempted to show him my gratitude by tasting his beautiful mouth. Jasper made that the most magnificent sexual experience ever.

~*E*~

Standing over the small white box in the kitchen, I tired to work past my memories so that I'd be able to finally open the package. It had been sitting on the black counter for two weeks, bringing forth thoughts, fleeting memories, and outright nightmares. No matter what I did, I couldn't turn off my brain. Perhaps if I simply hid the box in a closet until I was ready, maybe then it would allow my mind to return to _normal_.

But I wasn't lucky enough for that. My memories continued.

~*E*~

How long had it been? Fifteen years? Yes, fifteen, and they had been a great decade and a half. We were about to celebrate Valentine's Day, but Jasper wouldn't be home. He was on an educational trip for work in Egypt, studying the ancient methods of preservation up close and personal. This had been a dream of his for years. Finally, schedules lined up as the planets do, and it simply worked.

It ended up being the worst thing that could have happened in the end. The planets aligned, alright, but not in a good way. While he was away, I was touring with the orchestra and was more difficult to contact than normal due to spotty cell phone coverage. When I arrived home, I threw my dead phone on the counter and went to bed, not receiving the voicemail or email that Jasper had left for me.

He had gotten into a freak accident and sliced open his radial artery. Luckily, he was close enough to a hospital to save his life but far enough away that he lost a lot of blood. He ended up having a transfusion.

I remember the day that I came through the door to our house to find the hen sitting on the teak bench in the mudroom. This hadn't been the first or the last time that we had used the cock and the poule to let each other know that we needed to talk.

The first time he put the poule on the bench was the day he asked me to move in with him. Those first six months together required the use of the cock and the poule a lot. His "everything in its place" philosophy, drilled into his head by his father, matched with my creative spirit was bound to bring up disagreements. My music strewn about the house seemed to be the biggest concern our first year, but he didn't understand my creative process. After the chickens had been set out more times than we could count, we decided we needed to make a "hot spot" list of the places in the house that simply had to be kept clean. It made all the difference in the world. Soon, we were using those hot spots for leaving love notes and chocolates. Not long after that, these locations became our prime fucking locations, aside from the bed, so "hot spot" took on a totally new meaning to us.

But a few months after he had returned from Egypt, the hen was sitting there after I arrived home from teaching private lessons. Picking up the colorful, hand painted poule, I found Jasper sitting at the kitchen table, staring down at its surface. I pulled out the chair across from him and sat, placing the hen in her proper space, right next to the cock.

"Talk to me, Jasper." Something was _very_ off with his demeanor, and it made me nervous.

"I don't have good news."

"Okay. Whatever it is, we can handle it together." I reached for his hand and he grabbed onto mine with desperation as if he was afraid to let go. "Tell me, Sparks."

"I'm positive."

"What?"

"My trip to Egypt. The transfusion of blood. I contracted HIV." He fell silent. Stunned. Much like me.

After many minutes, I asked, "How do you know it's from your transfusion?" He had felt off the last few weeks, but I thought it was simply his body fighting something off or exhaustion.

"What! You think I fucking cheated or started using drugs behind your back?" His anger was palpable, and I retreated as far back as my chair would allow … and watched him. I observed the sincerity in his eyes and the fear. I knew that wasn't how he got it. He had it, and I needed to stand by him.

"No, Jasper. I believe you. That's not what I was insinuating at all. I just didn't think … I thought blood from a hospital..."

"I know. Me too. I had no idea you could still get it from transfusions, but I was in Egypt. Things aren't nearly as stringent as they are here in the U.S." He dropped his forehead to the table and let out an anguished cry. I was next to him in a second, doing everything in my power to console him.

Our lives changed that day.

The next day, we had an appointment with an HIV educator who taught us everything we needed to know about safe sex practices, from condoms to dental dams, and our sex life was transformed into something … different. It wasn't bad or worse, but it took some getting used to and planning.

His greatest fear was that he had given HIV to me, but every time I was tested, I was clean. Somehow, I was spared–luckily, considering we hadn't used condoms in years.

Soon, we fell into our _new_ lives with Jasper taking a cocktail of anti-retrovirals and starting a new lifestyle reboot. Nutrition, exercise, and general health became a focus in our lives, and even on days that we simply wanted to drink beer and eat greasy pizza, we ate leafy greens instead and went to the gym. It was different, but we were able to make it work for us.

I would let _nothing_ take Jasper away from me.

~*E*~

I was so lonely. It was a Sunday night, and I was sitting at home, trying to occupy my mind while was Jasper was off visiting his sister in Colorado. As much as I had wanted to go with him, I was unable because of the concerts that I had and the private lessons I was committed to teach.

It had been a spur of the moment trip for Jasper because his sister needed to have her gallbladder removed. She wanted someone there while she had surgery and recovered from her laparoscopic procedure. I was always worried when Jasper flew, afraid he'd pick up some virus on the plane that his body wouldn't be able to fight. But I kept that to myself.

He'd lived with HIV for nearly five years and was very healthy, but I worried nonetheless. I couldn't help it. The day he told me he was positive I had been forced to face reality, recognizing that I wouldn't always have Jasper in my life, and that he could die before I did. I mourned for weeks although I did it in private. The last thing I wanted him to see was me feeling worried about being left behind, yet it was one of my greatest fears.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I tried calling him but realized I had missed him. He was already on his flight back home. Knowing I had a few hours before I needed to be at the airport, I decided to turn on the television to simply occupy my mind while I waited rather than allowing myself to feel lonely. As I flipped through the channels, I wondered why we paid for cable when nothing was on. That was when I passed a news channel.

I saw the _Breaking News_ alert that I had become programmed to ignore due to its overuse, but something made my finger pause over the remote. Flight 311. The numbers … I knew them. Hastily, I clicked on my phone's calendar to check Jasper's flight information.

Flight 311.

What the hell happened? _Please tell me they had an emergency landing, and that is all_.

But that wasn't all. A strong storm brought the plane down into the side of a mountain. No survivors expected.

Everything stopped … turned black. Nothing would ever be the same.

Jasper died on the side of a mountain along with most of me.

When the police arrived on our doorstep to deliver the news, I broke down before they spoke. I barely heard them. "Edward Whitlock-Cullen? We regret to inform you that your husband, Jasper Whitlock-Cullen, died tonight on Flight 311." That's all I heard as my world stopped turning.

I was alone.

~*E*~

It had been six months since that fateful day, and I was once again staring at the box that Rosalie had sent a month ago. Jasper had been gone for one hundred and ninety three days, and I was going about life as if things were normal. I continued to play with the orchestra and teach lessons, but my heart was no longer in it. The house that Jasper and I had shared for nearly twenty years was cold and empty. I no longer cried every day. Some weeks I could go three days without breaking down, but since that box had arrived on my front step, it had gotten harder to hold it in.

It was time.

Bringing the box to the kitchen table, I sliced through the thin tape and lifted the flaps of the box. Just a few months ago, I would have considered that blade and its sweet release from the pain I had, but not any more. Instead, I pressed the safety and slid the blade back into its protective sheath, taking away the temptation. Rustling through the packing material, I felt the cold, smooth surfaces I expected. With a deep breath drawn into my lungs and slowly released, I pulled the contents away from the packing.

In my hands, sat the cock and the poule, and I placed them next to each other in the center of the table.

Jasper had requested in his will that I be given the cock and the poule. Rosalie was not happy at all, but rather than fight with her, I allowed her to have them. I didn't see how something as ridiculous as a salt and pepper shaker could ever mean so much, but it was … ours and I missed them once they were gone. It was a tradition that he took from his parents, and he made it ours. I used them on the day that I asked him to marry me and when I was ready to share my fears about his HIV. They were there with us in our bedroom through his story telling when he first made love to me. They were far from ridiculous to us.

Standing, I took the box and broke it down to place it in the mudroom with the recyclables as I thought. Never had I expected to lose Jasper so quickly. I was ready for a long drawn out battle with HIV and AIDS. It was possible that I could have died before him, but I knew that I would probably see him suffer. I had prepared for that, but nothing … nothing could have prepared me for losing him the way that I did.

My tears couldn't be stopped, and I sat on the teak bench in the mudroom and sobbed into my hands. How could a salt and pepper shaker bring it all back as if I had lost him only yesterday? I don't know how long I cried, but I could feel my eyes were swollen, and I was exhausted from my effort.

Walking into the kitchen, I took the hen and set her next to the cooktop in the same spot she had been on our first date. Somehow that felt right. I didn't know if they would ever be together again because I felt that my need to talk to Jasper would never be sated.

Sitting back at the kitchen table, I looked at the cock and turned him so that I could see his beautiful plumage, and I began.

"Jasper, I miss you so much…"

* * *

A/N: This was going to be a piece of pure fluff but it turned into so much more. I've shared with you some of my greatest fears. Fire, illness, and most significantly being left as a lone survivor. These were the things that kept me up at night as a child and still do to this day. Thanks for reading.


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